How Fear of Disintegration Gives Rise to Anxiety Symptoms and Panic Attacks

Anxiety is a psychological state that can have different causes and origins.  I'd like to discuss one potential cause of anxiety symptoms and panic attacks with an example from my personal experience.

For the most part, I haven't been prone to anxiety during my life, but several years ago I had some full-blown panic attacks related to an investment that appeared to be going south.  Along with several friends and family members, I'd acquired a real estate asset with short-term financing; in order to get permanent long-term financing, the asset would have to meet certain performance criteria.  If it didn't, we wouldn't qualify for the new loan and we might lose our entire investment when the short-term loan came due.  I was the member of our team primarily responsible for dealing with the bank.

Continue "How Fear of Disintegration Gives Rise to Anxiety Symptoms and Panic Attacks"

What ’10 Signs of Depression in Men’ Won’t Tell You

In this video, I discuss the most common signs and symptoms of depression, offering advice for how to make sense of all the information available online, with suggestions about the different treatment options.

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If you've been searching the Internet for information about how to recognize depression, either in yourself or in someone close to you, this post will introduce you to the 10 most common signs of depression that appear on many mental health websites, with little variation; I'll also discuss how to understand and make use of them.  These signs of depression derive from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV issued by the American Psychological Association; the DSM-IV is the official manual of the mental health profession and is used by psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc. who must provide a diagnosis to insurance companies before the insurer will  issue reimbursement.  Here are the 10 most commonly recognized signs of depression: Continue "What ’10 Signs of Depression in Men’ Won’t Tell You"

What We Mean When We Use the Word ‘Love’

(1) I love french fries.  (2) I love the way I feel when I'm on vacation in Mexico.  (3) I love my children. (4) I love my profession.

All four of these statements are true but the word "love" in each one describes a very different experience.  In the first, it means I enjoy having french fries inside my mouth, the way they taste and then swallowing them down.  Sentence number two describes a subjective experience of pleasure aroused by my environment.  The third sentence concerns emotions I have about other people, while the fourth applies to a value or ideal that I hold.

At first blush, it would seem these experiences or feeling states are so diverse that to use the word "love" for all of them is absurd.  Does it make any sense to use the same verb to describe how you feel towards your children as well as your favorite food?  In most cases, those experiences are entirely different; but in truth, there are varieties of love where the feeling someone has for another person isn't so different from "loving" french fries.  If individuals who suffer from Narcissistic Personality Disorder fall in love, it usually means they "love" how the other person makes them feel about themselves. Continue "What We Mean When We Use the Word ‘Love’"

Hatred and Anger as Glue

Responding to an earlier post, Rafael Mendez-Arauz wonders whether the inner "brat" is in reality the "pseudo-self".   My good friend Marla Estes has stated, on both her own site and in a comment to one of my posts, that she believes anger can be a response to forces from the outside that disturb our tranquility.  I think the three of us would agree that a response of anger or hatred isn't always primary; that is, it might be a defense to ward off something else. The best way I can illustrate this is to discuss the "drowning kitten."  This metaphor came to play a central part in the treatment of one of my long-term clients, a very disturbed young woman who was cutting herself when she first came in, and suffered from a kind of depression that bordered on psychosis.  Years later, after much improvement, she'd stabilized and had developed a positive relationship with a man.  From time to time, though, when she was under great stress, she'd erupt in anger at him; with a cruel sort of insight, she would savage him for his faults, spew invective at him, and then feel horribly guilty afterward.  We tried to understand this in various ways but didn't seem to be making headway. My own theoretical point of view at that time was limiting my understanding, and I'm very grateful to this client (and others like her) who stuck with me long enough for me to grow into understanding.  Real insight came when she described herself during one of these outbursts as "a drowning kitten", lashing out with her teeth and claws at those around her.   What we then were able to understand was that her rage helped ward off an unbearable experience of anxiety that verged on terror:  she felt she might literally fly into pieces (death), and the outburst of rage helped hold herself together in the face of this disintegration anxiety.  It acted as a kind of "glue", in the way Marla Estes has described the function of psychological defenses. Continue "Hatred and Anger as Glue"

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Welcome! If you would like to join the conversation here on After Psychotherapy, respond to what I or other site visitors have said or share your own experience, feel free to submit comments on any of the posts. I read and approve everything unless it’s hostile, irrelevant to the post or overly rambling.

As site traffic has increased, however, I find it increasingly difficult to respond to all the comments. Many of the older posts still have active threads and as the number of site visits increases, I spend more and more time reading and responding to these comments. I find I can no longer answer direct appeals for advice in detail, but you may find that other site visitors will share the benefit of their own experience if you submit a comment. A strong community of thoughtful readers is here to support you.